Fearfully and Wonderfully Made
Many of you already know that we finally received our long-awaited court date and are set to travel to Korea next Friday. The moment we found out, we were in shock and our minds went to the expected reactions- eagerness, excitement, joy. We were over the moon. As we began to share the news things became more real. But somehow, very quickly, a deep ocean of grief began to well up inside. With every text and phone call, we wept harder until we were left in utter sorrow. It wasn’t about the messages; we felt the beautiful and immediate nearness of those surrounding us with prayer and love. And it wasn’t about us as the adoptive parents, we’ve already known how inadequate we are. It was about Jubilee. To have lost her birth mother after the womb, to losing a short-term foster mother, and then attaching to her current foster mother for the past 1.5 years only to lose her too, is more than a child should bear in a lifetime. The grief came from the reality that she has no idea what is to come. As we eagerly prepare her room with a crib and fold cute onesies with pink bunnies, she is in Korea laughing, dancing, and holding tightly to the only mother she knows. In Jubilee’s eyes, she is already home.
Some may think of adoption as a picture of the “rescuing” of a child, the sacrificial love of the parents, or the Instagram posts. But behind the perfect family photo is a child, one who will walk in and out of seasons of grief throughout life. But this isn’t to say that she is out of God’s sight. She has always been, and will always be, fiercely loved by the God who created her. A saving, redeeming, restoring God. She is fearfully and wonderfully made.
As humans, we have a deep desire to be fully known and fully loved because we were created by and for God, who knows all our brokenness and still loves us completely. Our prayer is that we would embrace this truth. That we would hold fast to Him when we are hit by every wave, knowing that He will never change.
And then love her in the same way.
To allow her to be completely overwhelmed, angry, or confused. To let her be honest. To let her just be. To see it ALL and still love her the same.
Brothers and sisters, please pray for us whenever it comes to mind. First, prayers for Jubilee. And secondly, prayers for us to rely on God and remain steadfast in His presence.
This first trip includes two one-hour long playdates with Jubilee, and one court date. Our second trip, about a month later, will be when we bring her home.
We love you all so much and are so thankful for each of you. You have walked with us, and we would love to do the same in your lives. Please let us know if you have any prayer requests.
“Where shall I go from your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me.
If I say, "Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,"
even the darkness is not dark to you;
the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.
For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you, when
I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written,
every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.
How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! How vast is the sum of them!”
Psalm 139:7-17
